Will You Wait For Me?
by Linnea Farhen
Summary: Mikan died from an unnamed terminal illness. And Natsume didn't know anything about it until the day she died. How will he be able to cope up from her loss?


**Disclaimer: **I don't own Gakuen Alice and Kavana's song, and some of the things you recognized.

**A/N: **This is actually my first one–shot fanfic story. So if ever you want to comment on it, don't be shy. At least, I can learn from it… I hope.

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**Summary: **Mikan died from an unnamed terminal illness. And Natsume didn't know anything about it until the day she left. He couldn't believe she's gone. She's out of his life. Will he be able to cope up if sorrow and pain was drowning him? As he felt his life worthless, a girl showed up to hand over to Natsume the final message left by Mikan before she completely left.

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**WILL YOU WAIT FOR ME?**

It was raining hard outside the Iris Café. And the rain seemed to join him as he drowns himself in alcoholic drinks. In the café, there's a male pianist playing a melodious song that seemed to have come down from heaven. Every key he played, it pierced down through the core of his heart. It was as natural as love…

Love… Thinking of that word again made Natsume's heart break… in pain… in sorrow… in total agony. And thinking of this word made him think of the reason why he felt these tormenting emotions.

Mikan Sakura… his beloved Mikan. The only girl who changed his life for good… or maybe not.

And as he remembered her made him cry… silently but hard… possibly not even hard enough to release all the emotions he had felt ever since he met her. His beloved Mikan. She's so unfair. Why did she go? Why did she left him emotionally tortured and all alone again… in the dark he goes again?

As he cried harder, he never noticed that he already broke his glass as he clenched his fist. All of these thoughts seemed to be overtaking him. He didn't even mind his hand as it oozed out blood because of the broken glass. It appeared that he had become numb. All because of losing Mikan.

_**Polka-dots… you're so unfair! Mikan… Mikan, why did you leave me? You said you'd stay by my side. If only I could even fulfill my promise to you, if you had just stayed. I would become the Natsume you want me to be. Why?**_

He couldn't help by cry over as he remember something that once said by his sister Aoi.

"_It is inevitable, Onii-chan. Mikan leaving us… it is already her fate. And none of us can defy that no matter how hard we try."_

He shook his head at the thought. If it was Mikan's fate… If Mikan couldn't help leaving them… Leaving him… she should have at least let him know.

Let him know that she would leave. So that he could have spent more time with her.

So that he could have at least let her fell that he would forever love her even if she's gone.

She could have brought that love of his to that happy place… in which she would never have to suffer that pain again. She could always smile there. On that happy place.

The same smile that brighten up everyone's day… his day… even his heart.

Oh, how he hated his life! Why it does always goes like this? Almost everything… and everyone… those people that he cared so much are leaving him? Why does God allowed Mikan to leave him here… now broken and unable to stand up once again?

While drowning himself in sorrow, Aoi couldn't help but approach her brother. It pained her seeing her brother like this. She's quite sure that if Mikan was here she wouldn't allow Natsume to feel something like this. But unfortunately, Mikan was the exact reason why he's suffering like this.

_**If only I could do something to help my brother. I couldn't bear seeing him like this. **_She only sighed and then sat beside her brother, along with Ruka, Hotaru, Yuu, and Sumire.

"You shouldn't be here," Aoi said while looking worried to him.

"Just leave me for a while, sis. I need to be alone."

"But Onii-chan—"

"I said just leave me alone!" Natsume shouted that made everyone shocked. It also caught the attention of the customers of the café.

"Natsume-kun…" Sumire could only say his name after that.

"Natsume, you shouldn't be like that. Aoi-chan is just worried about you. All of us are worried about you," Ruka said in a slightly angry tone. That's unlike him.

"We know it's hard to accept that Mikan left us," Yuu sadly commented. "But try to know that you're not the only person who had suffered because of her loss. Most of the people she had befriended are feeling the same way as you. Especially her grandpa."

Sumire sighed before speaking. "She's only fourtenn when she died and left us. I admit I hated Mikan at first but… she's one of the true friends I had met here. That's why I was really hurt when I found out that she's gone." And as she stopped, tears began to fall from her eyes. Everyone went quiet after that.

While the others had said something to help Natsume, Hotaru remained quiet. Unusually quiet that even her boyfriend Ruka would easily know.

Ruka knew the reason why she's like this. She might not have said something, but she's also suffering from Mikan's loss. Probably even harder that what Natsume was feeling. Hotaru was with Mikan ever since. She might have shown a different way to let Mikan know her affection and her appreciation to their friendship. But that alone was enough to love Mikan so much even though she continued to hurt her friend but continued to be her friend, as well.

Hotaru, on the other hand, had her mind still stuck remembering. Oh, how she wanted to curse herself for being such a useless friend to Mikan!

She couldn't even do anything to at least ease up Mikan's pain while she's suffering in her room… on her bed. Of all people, she's the onl person who had witnessed how Mikan bear the tormenting pain she's feeling because of her sickness. When Mikan's body had finally given up, she's the one who had stayed by her side because Mikan told the doctor not to let the others know. Though Narumi knew Mikan's condition, he never actually thought it would come to the worst case scenario.

Only Hotaru knew Mikan's real situation. The doctor has then revealed to her that there is a surgery which might either correct Mikan's condition or kill her early. Mikan refused to undergo the procedure, preferring to last as long as she can without it, but Hotaru convinced her to take any chance at life she can get. Mikan then decided to take the surgery, even though she knew that the success rate was minimal.

But before the surgery, Mikan to Hotaru that she should not cry if ever the surgery would not be a success. Hotaru still remembered their conversation that day.

"_Hotaru, if ever the surgery is not a success and I died, please promise me not to cry," Mikan said, smiling cheerfully like she has never suffered._

"_Idiot! Who told you I wouldn't cry if ever you died early? Do you really think I can do that?"_

"_Just promise me, Hotaru. Please," Mikan was pleading._

"_But Mikan, why do you want me not to cry if ever you're gone?" Hotaru asked curiously even though her eyes began to blur because of tears by the second they had started that conversation._

"_Because I want you to go on with your life even without me disturbing you, annoying you almost everyday… showing my friendship to you. Ever since we've met you knew this day would come. And I want you to live your life like before. Just remember one thing for me, Hotaru."_

_Hotaru remained silent._

"_Just remember I'll always watch over you when I'm gone…"_

Hotaru's tears had then began to fall without her knowing it after remembering that.

She even remembered in which later that day after the surgery, she arrived at the classroom to tell the others, including the teachers, that Mikan had died. Everyone was shocked, almost all never believed her until the doctor who conducted the surgery appeared and confirmed it. Natsume couldn't even move from his seat because of shock and disbelief.

Since then, Class B was not that lively anymore. Hotaru never cried in front of Mikan's coffin on the day of the funeral. Ruka and Yuu wondered why and Hotaru told them the truth about Mikan's illness and their conversation the day of the surgery. But unknown to them, she cried every night. She couldn't keep her promise to Mikan. It's hard for her to do that.

Aoi looked at his brother's form. Honestly, he's not the same Natsume anymore. It's only a week after Mikan's funeral but it seemed that Natsume had suffered for a long time. And when she meant a long time, it means forever to him.

It was still raining outside the Iris Café. And it seemed that it would take them a while before they could go home.

And as all of them are reminiscing about the past, specifically their past with Mikan, a song was sang by a male singer on the stage. The song had caught Natsume's attention for the lyrics of it seemed to match everything about what he's feeling at the moment.

Not, not just at the moment. More like what he would feel all his life.

"I know that song," Sumire suddenly said.

"What's the title?" he immediately asked.

Sumire looked at Natsume. "It's entitled _Will You Wait For Me? _By Kavana. I got fascinated by the song because it's so sad."

All of them listened to it.

_**I need to talk with you again**_

_**Why did you go away?**_

_**All our time together**_

_**Just feels like yesterday**_

_**I never though I'd seen**_

_**A single day without you**_

_**The things we take for granted**_

_**We can sometimes lose**_

He couldn't believe it. It really matched what he feels. And it seems that the guy was in pain of suddenly losing the one he loved the most.

_**And if I promise not to feel this pain**_

_**Will I see you again?**_

_**Will I see you again?**_

Will he really see her again? Even if just in dreams?

_**Time will pass me by**_

_**Maybe I'll never learn to smile**_

_**But I know I'll make it through**_

_**If you wait for me**_

He's right. For someone who had lost the one he loves, for sure that he'll never know how to smile once again without the sight of that person… the only reason he can smile. But still, he's willing to surpass that pain if he knew that at the end of his long wait, the one he loves would be the one standing there waiting for him.

_**And all the tears I cry**_

_**No matter how I try**_

_**They'll never bring you home to me**_

_**Won't you wait for me in heaven?**_

_**Will you wait for me in heaven, my beloved Mikan? **_He thought as he reminisced his past.

Loving her was really the most wonderful thing he could have ever done in his life; that's why it pained him so much that he had never told her how much he felt for her. No matter how hard he wailed over her loss, Mikan won't come back. At least to the living.

_**Do you remember how it was**_

_**When we never seemed to care?**_

_**The days went by so quickly**_

_**Coz I thought you'd always be there**_

All his life, he had never felt so much regret. And he knew that no matterhow much he wanted to turn back the time, there's no way that thing could happen.

_**I thought she would never leave, that's why I never told her much of what I feel for her. If only I knew that she would leave me earlier than I have ever thought… then maybe… **_And Natsume knew he had never cried this hard before than this night. He felt so useless… so weak… without her.

_**And it's hard to let you go**_

_**Though I know that I must try**_

_**I've felt like I've been cheated**_

_**Coz we never said goodbye**_

All the others could do was to watch him cry as they listen to the song.

"The song sure is sad," Yuu unknowingly commented.

"Yeah, and you could actually feel it while you're listening," Sumire agreed.

"Why didn't she tell us about her illness? She could've at least let us know about her situation so that—" Natsume calmly said but was interrupted by Hotaru.

"That's really easy for you to say. When you were doing dangerous missions before, did you let the people around you know that you're also suffering because of your Alice devouring your life? She doesn't want anyone to feel sorry for her because of it. Mikan only did what's right. Because no matter how much she had tried to resist, her body was already on the verge of giving up."

"Is that the reason… why Aoi said that Mikan leaving us is inevitable? Couldn't you do something at at least help her that time?"

"Even though I could invent some device that could possibly help her, it would actually take me several years to complete it. By the time that I've met Mikan, her grandpa stated that she only had 6 years to live. For the others, it might have been a long time already. But for the others who are close to her, it's still short. Too short to let her feel their love," Hotaru said emotionlessly, while looking at her glass.

Everyone went quiet once again. Aoi tried to look around the café, as if trying to find someone there. And then all of a sudden, a girl with a long straight black hair entered the café. Aoi smiled.

_**I thought that girl wouldn't show up anymore.**_

While Aoi was preoccupied with what she's doing, Natsume continued to listen to the song.

_**And if I promise not to feel this pain**_

_**Will I see you again?**_

_**Will I see you again?**_

_**Time will pass me by**_

_**Maybe I'll never learn to smile**_

_**But I know I'll make it through**_

_**If you wait for me**_

Natsume would try his best to smile… even without the sight of Mikan. For he's so sure that Mikan wanted him to smile. He could still remember what she said before.

_**I'll show you my true smile if you will smile as well…**_

She'll watch over them, that's another thing for sure.

_**And all the tears I cry**_

_**No matter how I try**_

_**They'll never bring you home to me**_

_**Won't you wait for me in heaven?**_

Somewhere at that time, he's sure he had heard Mikan's voice. The words that the voice uttered were unclear, though. So he ignored it.

"I'm sure she'll be waiting for you, too, Natsume-kun," a girl in front of them suddenly said that made him froze for a while.

Natsume scanned the girl. No doubt she's beautiful. Her presence show felt… warm. Just like when he's with Mikan. She has a pair of deep blue eyes and her long straight hair was black in color. She has a fair skin and has the same height as Mikan.

And at that moment, the girl was smiling.

"Who are you?"

"My name's Yoshiko Kirisawa. I'm actually Mikan's cousin," the girl stated and then Aoi offered her a seat.

"Cousin?" Hotaru frowned. "How come I never met any of Mikan's cousins?"

"I knew you'll going to ask that. The truth is that my family and I moved 3 days before you transferred to Mikan's school. Though we're far from each other, we still had constant communication. Actually, she mentioned a lot about you." Hotaru was touched by that statement.

"She's my friend, Onii-chan. She's my classmate until now," Aoi said to Natsume.

"What you said a while ago…" Yuu suddenly spoke. "The 'she' you're referring to, you meant Mikan, right?"

Yoshiko nodded.

"It means that you knew all about her situation, right?" Yuu continued.

"Ever since she found out."

"Why are you here, anyway? I thought you'll be going to Hokkaido tonight," Aoi asked but before she could answer her question, Natsume also asked a question.

"Out of curiosity, why does your voice sounds a lot like Mikan's?"

"Tell me about it, you do sound a lot like her," Ruka agreed.

"I don't exactly know the answer. You see, only those people who had met me and my cousin usually says something like that."

Hotaru looked at Yumiko. "When did you find out that Mikan died?"

"When the academy informed her grandpa. Though he can't actually enter the academy, he managed to do so because my father actually had an access to go there. So he assisted him and stayed by his side. It so happened that I was with my uncle the day of the funeral that's why I never came to at least say goodbye," Yoshiko's eyes grew sadder by the minute.

"It seems to me that Aoi-chan is expecting you to come here," Sumire said.

"Yeah. I was supposed to give something to Natsume-kun before I go. It's a good thing that my flight to Hokkaido has been postponed because of the bad weather."

Natsume stayed still, surprised of what he had just heard. "Give something to me?"

She nodded before getting something from her bag. It was a special white envelope. Outside it clearly seen the name _Natsume_, in Mikan's handwriting. Then Natsume took it from her hand, his hand was shivering.

_**Coz I miss you so**_

_**And I need to know**_

_**Will you wait for me?**_

By the minute, Yoshiko heard the song. "It seems to me that it's really hard for you to accept her death, that's why she wanted me to hand it over to you. It might help, she said.

_**Time will pass me by**_

_**Maybe I'll never learn to smile**_

_**But I know I'll make it through**_

_**If you wait for me**_

Natsume was still in disbelief but Ruka smiled. "Read it. So that you'll know her last thoughts before she died and left us."

_**And all the tears I cry**_

_**No matter how I try**_

_**They'll never bring you home to me**_

_**Won't you wait for me…**_

His hand wouldn't stop shivering because of… fear? Why? It came from Mikan. The letter came from the girl who had become a reason for him to live out of the darkness… out of the hell he'd been living for a long time.

_**Time will pass me by**_

_**Maybe I'll never learn to smile**_

_**But I know I'll make it through**_

_**If you wait for me…**_

Natsume heaved out a heavy sigh before starting to read Mikan's letter… for him.

**My beloved Natsume,**

**I'm sorry. I know that when you read this letter, you'd curse me already. All because I won't be living with you… by your side any longer. Anyway, it's okay if you that. It's my fault because I never told you about the real trouble I've been dealing with even before I've met you and Hotaru. I never told anyone that a sickness had been devouring my body. I'm glad it didn't devour my soul… and my love for you. You know what? I think I kind of have an idea about the pain you need to deal with when you use your Alice because of your missions. You tried to hide it to the others so that they wouldn't know that you're suffering. That's why now I've hated myself. I hate myself because I never got the chance to show you how much I love you. You told me you love me, and I did the same. You never lied to me. You're always telling me about your pain, your happiness whenever I'm with you, your sadness, and your worries. But me? I never lied about my love for you and my happiness whenever you're with me by my side. But I lied about my sadness when I'm about to leave you, my worries for those people that I'm about to leave behind when I die, and most of all, the pain that I'm enduring all the time so that you wouldn't know.**

**But I want you to remember some thing even if you hate me now. My love for you will never fade, and that's one of the promises that I could definitely keep. I will willingly and patiently wait for you to finally stay by my side for eternity. With these things, I want you to promise me something, as well. Be yourself and always smile. Don't lose hope that we'll see each other once again. And please try to move on. I don't want to see you cry because of me. I wanted you to live your life happily, even without me by your side.**

**I'll love you for always, Natsume. And I'm so sorry.**

**I'm glad that I have lived in a world with you in it. Thank you for making me feel a different but wonderful happiness for the first time in my life.**

**I love you.**

**Mikan**

He sighed. Then suddenly, he broke down. He cried again. He had never thought that Mikan had loved him this much. Aoi tried to calm his brother. Ruka and Hotaru could only stare at him with worried eyes. Yuu and Sumire looked at Yoshiko with questioning eyes but she shrugged her shoulders.

Natsume might have been hurt because of Mikan's sudden death, but now he had realized one thing after reading her letter.

_**I'm glad, too, Mikan. I'm glad I have lived with you in the same world. I'm glad I've met and loved you. Just wait for me and I can promise you. In life and in death, we'll be together… for eternity.**_

He had finished crying when Yoshiko decided to go. Natsume thanked her for giving the letter. She said goodbye to the others. And Aoi escorted her to the door of the café. Yoshiko said they'll be seeing each other again after a month. When she got out, the rain had already stopped, so she walked.

She then stopped on a sakura tree in full bloom. Though the water from the rain kept on dripping, the tree still looked beautiful. And when Yoshiko looked up, she suddenly smiled because of a glow that she saw up there. When the glow vanished, a brunette-haired girl with amber eyes in a white gown and wings smiled to her. Unknown to Aoi, Yoshiko has a mysterious ability to communicate with the souls of the dead.

And in this case, Mikan's soul knew who to contact.

"You're happy now?" Yoshiko asked Mikan.

"Thank you so much, Yoshiko-chan. I owe you a lot," Mikan answered smiling.

"I think you should at least let Natsume-kun know you're here visiting."

"No. It would be too hard for him. I should let the things go with the flow for now."

"Whatever you say. I'll be going now. Mom will be mad at me if I come home late." Then Yoshiko left the tree.

Mikan thanked her again and eyed the Iris Café. She smiled when she saw Hotaru, Natsume, and her friends went out the café.

"I'll be watching over you, everyone. From now on." And then she started to glow again. But before she completely vanishes, she eyed on Natsume for the last time.

"I'll wait for you, Natsume. And I'll love you, forever and always…" With that, she's gone.

Natsume thought he had heard something again and this time, it's clear. He smiled mentally because he knew this time it was Mikan.

"Just wait for me, my beloved Mikan. And I'll love you, too… forever and always…"

**THE END**

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**Okay, so that's it. And please don't forget to leave your reviews for this story. It would definitely help me a lot.**


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